a list for friday—things that are apparently a big deal but I don’t know why
Planking.
Foursquare. Do you really care that I’m at Target….again?
Tattoos. Much love to my friends who have them, but I just don’t get it.
Cupcakes.
Shark Week.
The Cheesecake Factory. Have you EVER been there when it’s not so crowded you’re touching strangers inappropriately?
American Idol.
Pinterest. (Didn’t Evernote do this first, and better?)
Christmas cards. To everyone I know: I wish you a very happy Christmas. There—done.
Chex Mix. It smells like cat food.
Fabric softener.
Citizen Kane.
a list for friday—2011 summer adventures, part 1
We’re halfway through July which means the Memorial-Day-through-Labor-Day-summer-season is also halfway over. (It also means the stores in Nashville have already loaded the shelves with a depressing explosion of binders, folders, and pencils for back to school.)
Time to take stock of the adventures thus far. Since Memorial Day I have……
—learned to boogie board at the New Jersey shore in possibly the coldest water outside of the Arctic Ocean.
—been stung in the neck by three wasps.
—sprayed a wasp nest with enough poison to kill every bug in the southeastern US.
—run 2.5 miles! Without stopping! Or swearing!
—added a touch more blonde to my hair. Why not?
—tried mountain biking.
—tried sitting on one, um, cheek until the purple, grapefruit-size mountain biking bruise on the other side healed.
—walked 467 miles through the lower east side of Manhattan during a Saturday afternoon downpour…..
— …..but also walked the High Line.
—planted a garden that refused to grow. Seriously. It just sits there.
—stayed at a 245-year-old bed and breakfast near Philadelphia.
—road tripped against my will to Mobile, Alabama and back. (There’s a reason videos like this and this always come from Alabama.)
—tried unsuccessfully to “establish dominance” with a 60-pound Siberian Husky.
—lived through the Great Cicada Invasion of 2011.
—lit fireworks and made root beer floats.
Just a few more weeks, folks! What adventures are you having this summer?
a list for friday–numbers
Number of friends on Facebook: 628
Number of “friends” I’ve never met: 134
Number of bruises on my hind end after mountain biking last week: 3
Number of times I fell off the bike: 3
Number of times I’ll probably go biking again: 0
Number of old boyfriends whose birthdays I still remember for no reason: 7
Number of days each year I forget to take my multivitamin: 359
Number of times I’ve moved since college: 6
Number expressing my love of moving: -1004
Number of times I asked All Natural Lawns & Landscape to mow my lawn the last two weeks while I traveled: 2
Number of times they actually mowed: 0
Number I had to count to before calling them and expressing my unhappiness: 20
Number of comments on the CS version of Tuesday’s post: 17
Number that said I was doing “violence to Scripture and to the sovereign character of God”: 1
Number of times I’ve decided to read through the Bible in a year: 5
Number of times I’ve actually read through the Bible in a year: 1
Number of years I’ve committed to journaling: 3
Number of years I’ve consistently written in my journal: 0
(Number of minutes I looked online to see if “journalled” was a word: 4)
Number of years I plan to make either resolution again: 0
Number of dollars I owe in library fines:
let’s just say I’m not allowed to borrow any more books right now.
a list for friday–songs I’m embarrassed to admit I like
“The Only One ” — Lionel Richie
Most of Glee, Season 1
“Papa Don’t Preach” — Madonna (and, um, the Glee version of it)
“Morning Train” — Sheena Easton
“Mmmmbop” — Hanson
Almost anything by Rascal Flatts
“Raise Your Glass” — Pink
“Weekend in New England” — Barry Manilow
“Karma Chameleon” — Boy George
“I Want It That Way” — Backstreet Boys
“This is the Night” — Clay Aiken
“Hey Santa” — Wilson Phillips (I know…….)
That Beyonce one
What song are you embarrassed to like?
a list for friday–unexplainable keywords people have used to find my blog
David Beckham’s feet
was Jennifer Taylor ever on Seinfeld?
undercover boss Amway
wallpaper dancing Macarena
Pirates of the Caribbean eye makeup
people worshiping eggs
pictures of pancreatitis
I wasted my twenties on the wrong man
warning nude beach
write down the number of people are involved in the whole process of getting a loaf of bread
Дэвид Бэкхем (There are a LOT of Beckham fans out there.)
a list for friday—subjects I never want to hear anything else about
this hat
the 2012 presidential election (sigh)
your cell phone plan
Arnold Schwarzenegger
what anyone “really has a passion for”
how much you love Target
how much better _____ is than Starbucks
Facebook privacy settings 
the details of any church building project or capital campaign
Viagra
how much better Saturday Night Live used to be
prayer in schools
Obama’s birth certificate
your crazy night at the bar
Harold Camping
What are you tired of hearing about?
things I don’t understand, part 12
Why churches must add an extra “e” to their names.
Owning a ferret.
The point of PO boxes at my post office. When I receive a package they refuse to accept it.
Driving across town to save $0.02 a gallon on gas.
Graffiti. You’re making your own neighborhood uglier.
Why scantily-dressed women with names like “AriannaVerySexy” find it strategic to follow me on Twitter.
Green tea. It tastes like grass.
Stretch hummers.
Churches offering “Christian sympathy.” Is there some other kind? What makes it different?
Why my grocery store sells ping pong balls.
Why they are displayed by the paper towels.
Death metal.
This. (Hat tip to my buddy Todd who found it.)
a list for friday–things I will be doing for the next ten days
Tomorrow I leave for ten glorious days traveling around France and Germany with my friend Bree.
Things I will do:
–admire the Sacre Coeur
–glide down the Seine in a Bateau Moche
–temporarily forgo vegetarianism
–shuffle through the crowd to see the Mona Lisa
–take the opportunity to say something about “flying buttresses” at Notre Dame
–feel light-headed at the top of the Eiffel Tower
–buy a tacky souvenir from a museum about East Germany
–tour the catacombs beneath Paris
–walk down the Champs-Elysees at night, missing my boyfriend
–be disgusted by at least one hostel bathroom
–eat something that ends in “wurst”
–try to sleep on an overnight train
–be left speechless by Dachau
–ride a bike through Berlin
–visit a castle
–gain weight
Things I will NOT do:
Work.
phrases in my “German At A Glance” handbook I REALLY hope I won’t use during my trip
Die Badewanne ist verstopft. (The bathtub is clogged.)
Gibt es auch ein Luftkissenboot? (Is there also a hovercraft?)
Ich will mein Tanzbein schwingen. (I want to shake my dancing legs.)
Gibt es ein FKK Strandbad in dieser Gegent? (Is there a nudist beach in this area?)
Fuhren Sie Unterwasche aus naturlichen Fasern? (Do you carry underwear made of natural fibers?)
Mehr Haarspray. (More hairspray.)
Ich habe mir an harten Nussen einen Zahn Ausgebissen. (I broke a tooth on hard nuts.)
Ich bin einem Nervenzusammenbruch nahe. (I’m close to a nervous breakdown.)
Ich bin Auslaender. Aber ich bin nicht dumm. (I’m a foreigner. But I’m not stupid.)
a list for friday–things you will never hear me say
“Steven Tyler really has some insightful comments on American Idol, doesn’t he?”
“Actually, I’ve been looking for a reason to move to North Dakota.”
“Sure, let’s pierce that.”
“Do you have to kill the mouse?”
“I don’t know, running a marathon might be fun.”
“It’s fine that your dog barks all night—I’m just glad he’s happy.”
“Told you I’m a good bowler.”
“This pinot is lush and unctuous….I’m getting hints of cherry and currants with confident fruit-forward flavor notes that capture the soul of the soil.”
“The movie was better.”
“Shhhh…..football’s on.”
“Really wish I could gain a few pounds.”
“Palin 2012!”
“Of course you can take the whole Bible literally.”
“It’s been three days—guess it’s time for a shower.”
“Well, that’s what I think, but then I’m just a girl.”
Jennifer Taylor
My Other Sites
Twittering @seejenwrite- seejenwrite: There's nothing I don't love about this. http://t.co/NakG9pG3
- seejenwrite: Open to adding a new project or two--let me know if you need a copywriter or editor. Also I make good cookies.
- seejenwrite: @mynameisbrandon kitchen yes. Showers I'm not sure. What about the YMCA?
- seejenwrite: There are few things I love more than going into the weekend with a clean house.
