holy crap!–why I don’t want to work at a church
This weekend I heard yet another story about yet another dysfunctional situation at yet another church.
Without going into detail that could identify the particular congregation, the issues involved manipulation, harassment, dishonesty, uninformed leaders making hasty decisions, six-hour meetings to deal with the fallout, firings, and inestimable wastes of time and morale.
Oh, wait, I don’t have to identify the church—it could be one of thousands.
That’s the sad thing, and it’s the reason I don’t want to work on a church staff.
Granted, my temperament is also part of it. I’m an independent spirit who disliked the institutionalized idiosyncrasies of school (no bathroom without a hall pass, lunch at 10:30 a.m) and the corporate workplace (no open-toed shoes, meetings about the ROI of thinking outside the box), and one of the things I enjoy most about the freelance life is an absence of drama.
But it would be nice if I did want to join a church staff team, if the beauty and community of God’s saints co-laboring at a church—any church—compelled me to be a part. Instead it compels me to run the other direction.
The local church is the hope of the world—Hybels and others have said it many times. And I agree.
I love my current church and the church I served in California and the one where I grew up, even though they haven’t been immune to the issues listed above. And I’ve invested in those churches, teaching preschoolers and memorizing choir anthems and washing dishes and manning registration tables and getting up at 6 a.m. for praise team rehearsal.
I love the church, serving the church, and being part of the church. I support my leaders and elders and try to be part of the solution.
But I don’t want to work there. If I’m going to spend 50 hours a week in a toxic environment, I know many that pay a lot more.
What do you think? Am I being too harsh? What causes these problems and how can we improve the situation?
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Jennifer Taylor
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preach it…
I am writing my immediate reaction to this post as to not over think it and talk myself out of it.
This post makes me frustrated. The things you have said you dislike about the working memebers of a church are all true and that stinks. To think a work environment would exist without them is a bit idyllic, as I’ve yet to work in any situation, church or marketplace, that was absent of these characteristics. It is sad, sometimes tragic.
But, as the wife of church staffer, I’d like to offer an alternate perspective.
While sinful nature, selfish motives and bottom line meetings seem to poison the well of a church staff at times, the behavior of a few cannot be the focal point. There are abundant victories on church staffs. Lifetimes of sacrafice for the gain of another soul admitted to heaven; thankless hours upon hours spent to restore the broken; and strategy meetings to make sure that church and culture are integrating well. I like that the staff’s of churches are starting to understand that it’s time to go to the people instead of the people coming to the church.
Anyhow, do I think this post is harsh? Maybe. I think you write passionately and I like that. I think any pov can be skewed and I would argue that there are days when being a freelancer is not as glam as presented here.
How can we improve the situation? Be discerning, stand firm, hold ourselves first to the same level of expectation and accountability as we hold everyone around us, trade grace for judgement, use the energy we have to point it out to move us to do something (becareful with this one, just might land you on a church staff. *smirk*).
A few thoughts…
–I don’t expect a work environment, church or other, to exist without some amount of unpleasantness because all these environments are full of flawed, fallen humans….myself at the top of the list. But it often seems *worse* at churches.
Maybe this is because some people do have idealistic perspectives and think everyone will just get along, and then feel disillusioned when reality sets in.
Or maybe it’s because they think they can get away with more/do less because it’s church and we’re all about grace.
Or maybe it’s because we’re not equipping our leaders (pastors and elders) to hire well, to partner well with each other, to write job descriptions that clearly communicate expectations, to communicate with each other as well as they do from the pulpit.
I don’t know. I suspect there are as many more reasons as these. It’s a complex issue.
–I’ll be the last to portray the freelancer life as “glam.” It’s a lot of plain hard work, as is church work. But it is noticeably reduced-drama.
One of the issues you’ve hit on before – the tendency to avoid conflict. This always sounds like an appealing idea until the root cause of the conflict festers and sprouts other symptoms.
Another issue may be the low view that some Elders have of their responsibilities to the staff – to mentor, coach, care for, encourage, and above all, to pray for them.
Another may be the low view that some members have of the responsibilities and burdens on the staff – the constant fishbowl, the pressure to always “get it right”. (I’ve filled a pulpit on two or three occasions and always felt huge pressure – not in re the public speaking, but with the critical importance of the task. Nothing makes you love a preacher like having to fill in for him!).
Of course, there are also issues rooted in the staff members themselves, but good Elders and solid members can do a lot to mitigate these, as well.
FYI – I am not and never have been on a staff, although its only fair to point out that my Bride was before we met.
I agree with Christie!
When I was younger, I worked for a church and it was the hardest 3 years of my life. There were some incredible times that I’m grateful to have experienced and been a part of.
But there were way too many painful times, too. Long story.
Needless to say, I have a HUGE appreciation and respect for those that are in ministry and on a church staff or mission field. I pray for them daily – that they’ll be strong and not let the things that their Christian brothers and sisters in the congregation say to and about them get to them. Be strong and keep your eyes on Jesus. And thank you for serving.
I continue to volunteer and support my local church or other ministries, but I won’t be on a church staff ever again.
How about two cents from a guy who is very happy and works with a great church? No wait, maybe I’m the megalomaniac who is frustrating everyone else . . .
Doubt it.
But I’m sure some readers of this post would value your input on why your situation is good, and what’s contributed to that.
I’m sure every story is unique. Mine includes the church’s support through my life’s darkest season. It’s just who they are. Our leadership is not always in agreement but we always have each other’s back. We are going through “growing pains” right now and are thrilled to do so. I’m not sure that I can say what contributes to all of this. Maybe it’s just that we are Christians.
I think that in most cases lead pastors are not prepared to lead a staff “physically”. I think that they are prepared to lead them spiritually and with God-given vision (and that’s what they are called to do!). I think it is rare when a staff made up of “hired” folks has a working environment that doesn’t have major wrinkles (and I’m talking about everything, not just how you get along with your co-worker).
I wonder if this has become a problem as churches have grown and we no longer have one staff person and an eldership.
I wonder if Bible colleges could add more leadership classes – and I don’t mean “managment classes”.
I wonder if larger churches will continue to embrace the Executive Pastor/Teaching Pastor roles. I think I like this divide because it allows the Teacher to focus on study & shepherding and allows the Executive to focus on day-to-day and shepherding.
I wonder if churches will start to shift toward more of a business model…I hope not.
It’s hard to be on a church staff and not have your own agenda – whether it’s good or bad…. I won’t say I’ll NEVER be on a church staff again, because saying never is how I ended up in my last city.
Okay, Jen – i just can’t resist. Hearing about dysfunction in a church staff and concluding that you don’t want to be on a church staff is sort of like me hearing about a woman who cheats on her man and saying, “I’m never getting married.” Or seeing a dog chew a couch to pieces and saying, “I won’t ever get a dog.” It’s just faulty logic.
And the laundry list of toxic identifiers you mention were true of the congregations we know about in the first century. This is why Paul needed to write letters to places like Galatia, Ephesus, and Corinth.
I’m not trying to talk you into being on a church staff. Just sayin’ that churches all over the place provide tastes of the Kingdom all the time, little snapshots of good stuff, like you see here and tehre in the Bible, too, like Acts 2 before you get to Acts 4,5 and 6. Chruches are like the field with wheat and weeds. There are some that are filled with weeds, for sure, so toxic it’s unbelievable. Just heard about one of those this week, myself. But most i know are staffed with beautiful people (i say that in the “mother teresa was a beautiful person” sort of way) who believe Jesus is the hope of the world and that he is somehow alive and moving thorugh his Body, the church, despite our Corinth like make up and propensity to toxicity in our own personaly lives as well as our collective expressions. Some churches dont’ do much for mission. Some do. Some churches have toxic culture, others don’t. Appreciate your timidity about joining a staff, but when you call out “thousands” of bad churches, be careful not to throw the bride out with the bathwater.
Quick note — some key leaders and their spouses gathered in my living room last week to celebrate what God had done in our midst in recent months. We read scripture, prayed, washed each other’s feet, shared how we wanted Jesus to touch our lives, and wept, hugged, and prayed some more. Sometimes church staffs are broken people who love Jesus and each other, and are mutually committed to his healing and purging of our stubborn commitment to dysfunction and toxicity…and once in a while, you get a taste of the Kingdom. I wouldn’t want to trade my life for a life without that.
Thanks and keep up the good work. I appreciate you (but I dont want your job, either).
Ben