new to you friday–mary christmas

The baby in her womb
He was the maker of the moon
He was the Author of the faith
That could make the mountains move

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I don’t worship Mary, I don’t pray to Mary, and I certainly don’t believe she was sinless. But I will say this—the girl had guts. And I’m so grateful.

thoughts on missing the point

But you, Bethlehem Ephrathah, though you are small among the clans of Judah, out of you will come for me one who will be ruler over Israel, whose origins are from of old, from ancient times. —Micah 5

Therefore the Lord himself will give you a sign: The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and will call him Immanuel. —Isaiah 7

The kings of Tarshish and of distant shores will bring tribute to him; the kings of Sheba and Seba will present him gifts. —Psalm 72

Know and understand this: From the issuing of the decree to restore and rebuild Jerusalem until the Anointed One, the ruler, comes, there will be seven ‘sevens,’ and sixty-two ‘sevens.’ —Daniel 9 (In other words, rebuilding Jerusalem would take 49 years (seven sevens) and then 434 years after that (sixty-two sevens) the Messiah would be revealed to Israel. This is a prophecy for 483 years in the future……or about 32 A.D. Neato.)

Despite these clear teachings (well, except for Daniel’s), they didn’t get it.

Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? (Matthew 5)

Be careful not to do your ‘acts of righteousness’ before men, to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven. (Matthew 6)

And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him. (Matthew 6)

Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. (Matthew 6)

Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. (Matthew 7)

Despite these clear teachings, we don’t get it. Hmmm.

new to you friday–baby talk

If I’ve learned anything from my friends having babies, it’s that no matter how you try to prepare yourself, you are always hugely unprepared for the massive ways life changes after the baby arrives.

Exhaustion. Unpredictable hormones. The lack of opportunity to eat a meal while it’s hot for at least three years.

Mary (and Joseph, to some extent) also faced this, but without a birthing suite, Target registry or suburban house to come home to. Instead she got to experience the fatigue and the postpartum mood swings WHILE giving birth in a cave and then making a run for it to save the baby’s life.

When I first posted these thoughts on the “real” Mary and Joseph, I got some pushback. It’s true this young couple experienced an unparalleled adventure with God…….but it’s also true they were human beings, with all the messy feelings that entails.

So I stand by my post. I think the whole Christmas story could have been easier on that 14-year-old girl, but I trust God had his reasons. And when I get to heaven I’m giving Mary a hug.

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Last night I dreamed that Julie Andrews and I went grocery shopping. So it is safe to assume that God was not giving me a message as he did with Joseph.

I think a lot about Joseph this time of year. I wonder about him—other than the short narratives in Luke and Matthew, we don’t know much. He was “a good man,” according to Matthew, which seems an understatement—he was rewarded for his goodness with gossiping neighbors, a truly horrible road trip to Bethlehem, and having to raise Someone Else’s child.

I think about his dreams: both the ones from the angel that most likely did not include Julie Andrews, and his dreams for himself, which most likely did not turn out as he wanted. I think about his quiet willingness to sacrifice one for the other. When he left for Bethlehem did he know he would be gone for years and that the trip would include a detour to Egypt? Did he ever look at Mary in the firelight after they’d put the baby to bed and silently resent her? Did he wish they could have had a precious year or two as newlyweds before having to assume the responsibilities of parenthood? Did a dark part of his soul occasionally wonder what it would have been like if he’d just been a little more passive and let Herod kill the boy?

I think about Mary, too. Was she afraid of losing Joseph? Did she cry herself to sleep at night until he changed his mind and decided to marry her after all? Did she wonder if she’d done something wrong or misunderstood the angel?

I wonder if she knew, when she left for Bethlehem, that the baby would arrive there and if she cried when she hugged her mother goodbye. During the delivery did she wish desperately for her mom and sisters? Did Joseph help with the birth, and was she completely mortified by the experience?

Most of all, I wonder if either one of them ever just got good and mad at God. It’s not the kind of thing you talk about in Sunday school, but the whole story seems unnecessarily cruel to me.

God could have arranged for things to be easier on this young couple and still have fulfilled the prophecies. This man and woman sacrificed their reputations and personal plans so they could be part of God’s plan—in my limited view, they deserve better than they got.

So I think about them a lot each December, and I think about them other times, too. I don’t know why God didn’t smooth out some of the details for them. And sometimes I don’t understand why God seems to make it so difficult for me when I’m trying so hard.

But when I obey and things still seem to fall apart, or when the journey seems cruel and difficult past the point of “character building,” I remember that the story is always bigger than my feelings or my convenience. This Christmas, I remember that the absence of comfort does not equal the absence of God.

things I don’t understand–skymall edition

The Telekinetic Obstacle Course

The Thomas Kinkade Carol Playing Clock

The “Bigfoot, Garden Yeti” Statue

The Relaxing MagicShowerhead

The Truck Antlers

The Personalized Steak Branding Iron

The King Tut Egyptian Throne Chair

new to you friday—time to man up

Many of my friends who work at churches have to deal with some pretty jacked-up situations, and many of those issues are caused by leaders who avoid conflict.

Actually, it’s true at other organizations as well, especially Christian ones. Somehow we’ve accepted new math that says Christianity = being “nice” and being nice = never, NEVER actually talking to the person with whom you’re upset and working it out. (Much better to talk about them to others or wait for it to go away.)

Talk about jacked up. How do we reconcile this behavior with our claim to follow a Savior who, as this post says, “confronted Pharisees, disciples, entire towns, and the reality of our sin”?

I’m not advocating an angry, looking-for-conflict approach to life—you can read that discussion in the comments from the original post. But you don’t have to look for it—conflict is inevitable. Yes, Virgina, even in church. I just want leaders to man up and deal with it.

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This morning I spent some time talking to a staff member from Higher Ministries, a non-profit organization that reaches out to pastors and churches in crisis. During our conversation, Tony made an interesting observation: “Guys leave Bible college or seminary full of knowledge in theology but without adequate training in leadership and conflict management skills.”

I am continually astounded at the number of leaders I know who are unable to have the difficult conversation or who, like Michael Scott in The Office, equate leadership with being everyone’s friend. It causes so many problems and solves so few.

Henry Cloud talks about this in his book Integrity: The Courage to Meet the Demands of Reality. (The title alone is telling.) He points out that truly successful leaders are oriented towards reality—they seek the truth about situations even if that truth is negative. “Reality,” he says, “is always your friend.”

Unfortunately, we can all point to people who operate as if reality is a problem to be avoided at all costs. As a result, the 40-year veteran of ministry is cruelly let go without dignity or even explanation by a senior leader unable to speak the truth in love. An entire organization fights paralysis while its leader stubbornly pursues business strategies that stopped working years earlier. A board keeps a faltering leader in place because it’s too much work to find a replacement—and then wonders why the staff has such low morale. A group of elders talks to everyone on the church staff about a problem—except the staff member who created it.

I could go on, but I’m getting depressed. What baffles me is that despite my youth and inexperience, the solutions to these problems seem clear to me. If I, who have never led anything more rigorous than a small group, understand these issues, why on earth don’t others? If I’m able to confront a toxic person or difficult situation, it seems my elders (church or chronological) should be able to as well.

Leaders clutch dog-eared copies of Good to Great but are unable to practice one of its major points: all the great companies (and their level 5 leaders) could “confront the most brutal facts of current reality.” They wait for situations or people to suddenly improve on their own, although every law in the universe says that won’t happen. They shy away from conflict but follow Jesus who confronted Pharisees, disciples, entire towns, and the reality of our sin. They avoid unpleasant news but follow God, who moved quickly to deal with Adam and Eve’s sin and proactively create a redemptive solution.

It’s all rather ironic, and very frustrating, because it’s ultimately the staff and the ministry that suffer from a leader’s lack of courage (or, I’ll be charitable, lack of insight). When he refuses to make a choice, he’s making a choice—to postpone the inevitable, to cause even more conflict, and to make the process twice as painful for everyone involved. And it’s young ‘uns like me and my friends (who have personally experienced every one of the situations I list above) who have to deal with it.

I may never be a good leader, either, but I do know one thing: ignorance does not equal bliss—for anyone.

on the movement

I hear two completely opposing views about the Restoration Movement—often in the same day. (For readers who have no idea what the RM is, it’s modeling church and faith after the example given in the New Testament, without many of the creeds/rules/man-made requirements of other denominations. Learn more here.)

A few weeks ago during a conversation about some upcoming projects, a friend told me, “I still have a place in my heart for the Christian churches, but Steve and Chris always ask why I bother. They think the Restoration Movement is dying and wonder why we need to connect with each other when there are so many bigger networks for leaders.”

In some ways Steve and Chris (not their real names) are right—from Catalyst conferences to Christianity Today to church planting networks across the country, the Christian subculture offers tons of opportunities to connect outside denominational lines. To stay isolated within the independent Christian churches is to miss out on resources, experiences and insights.

But we also have contributions to make in those groups. The same day I had the previous conversation, I happened upon Scot McKnight’s blog post describing Bettendorf Christian Church and his experience there.

“I have to tell you I was motivated by the number of the young adults and high school students in the very front row—and they were paying attention—and they kept me on my toes,” he writes. “BCC illustrates the priesthood of all believers—there are so many folks involved in leadership and ministry one knows right away there is shared leadership.”

He goes on to compliment the church in other ways: “Speaking of priesthood of believers, we were impressed with BCC’s quiet missional life, including youth raking leaves, which we witnessed first hand, and their Second Saturday ministry of service to the community……. BCC is truly intergenerational. I met the former senior minister, retired ministers, senior citizens who were more than contented with an upbeat and contemporary worship style—along with lots of small kids and young parents and folks … all across the generational spectrum.”

McKnight ends the post with this: “One other thing: I’m convinced one of the most untapped sources of evangelical theology and ministry today is the Restoration Movement, sometimes called the Stone-Campbell Movement, and known to others as the Christian Church and the Churches of Christ. My experience confirms to me time and time again that these folks are quietly at work in the USA in gospel work.”

Bettendorf Christian impressed McKnight because of its leadership and focus on service, not because it happens to be an independent Christian church. But that doesn’t mean the church affiliation doesn’t matter, or that we shouldn’t stay connected in some way. Many of you originally found this blog through Christian Standard, the journal for these congregations. I, in turn, found the Bettendorf blog post while doing routine research for Christian Church Today, a website for our churches. Without some loose connections like these, you probably wouldn’t know about this church in Bettendorf, Iowa—if the information is helpful at all, you have our affiliation to thank.

We need a new name (neither Restoration Movement nor Stone-Campbell anything resonates with my generation) and a better annual gathering (if anything’s dying, it’s the NACC), but our churches and organizations are leading the way for others in the evangelical world—pioneering the multi-site movement (Community Christian Church), transforming the literal and physical landscape of church architecture (Visioneering Studios) and exploding into online ministry (Central Christian Church).

We may have some branding issues, but the product is sound. I’m glad to know Mr. McKnight gets it, even if Steve and Chris do not.

new to you fridays

When I discover a new blog, I rarely click on the archives to read past posts, even if I enjoy the current stuff. You’re probably the same way.

And this is fine, except many new readers have joined us in the last three years and some of the topics covered early on still matter. Some of the discussions are still worth having, and some of the questions aren’t resolved.

NBC used to promote its summer programming with the line, “It’s not a rerun if it’s new to you.” The same thing applies here—for those of you who haven’t read every post, which would be everyone except perhaps my mom, these older blogs are new content, and your comments are new insights.

So every Friday, for a while at least, I’ll resurrect an older post for a fresh take. Today we start with a very important topic, a public service announcement of sorts, originally posted December 18, 2006. I would now add Lou Rawls to the list, who is giving it all he has on iTunes radio even as I type this. See, told you these topics are still relevant.

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A Holiday Tip

People who should be allowed to sing “O Holy Night” in public:
–Placido Domingo
–Renee Fleming
–Sandi Patty
–The Vienna Boys Choir

People who should not:
–Jessica Simpson
–The Muppets
–Bob Seger
–Boy bands
–Aaron Neville
–Anyone who’s competed on American Idol
–You
–Me
–Everyone else in the universe

unitasking

It’s a cliche this time of year to talk about “Christmas presence”—i.e. giving the gift of time or attention instead of something bought in a store. But like many overused phrases, it’s a popular idea because it’s a good one, and this year I’m giving that gift to myself.

I live my life as a multitasker. Some of it’s harmless, like paying bills while watching a favorite movie (I’ve seen “Clue” so many times I don’t even need to look up at the screen to know what’s going on) or dusting my bookshelves while talking on the phone.

But much of it’s not so positive. I routinely open six or seven web sites at a time (some of my nine email accounts, a few blogs, Twitter) and waste huge chunks of time flicking from one to the next instead of doing real work. Or I’ll start an email only to be distracted by a flash of brilliance (very occasionally) on a current project and will leave the note half-finished while I chase the next thought. I’ll start to vacuum the house only to be distracted by dishes in the sink, which I’ll start to load into the dishwasher before noticing the pile of mail on the counter and remembering I should pay the water bill, which takes me back to the computer for three very important minutes reading a Facebook quiz about the girl who sat behind me in 7th grade.

In many ways, this multitasking reveals a lack of discipline. And while it affects my productivity to some extent, it also affects my personality. Constant shifts of attention, and the constant re-focusing required to finally finish things, leave my brain and spirit more weary than simply focusing on one project for an hour or two. I find myself chronically restless and scattered.

So I’m slowly and painfully moving toward unitasking—doing one thing, doing it well, then moving to the next. This pic provides my inspiration, although I check email every hour to avoid the “I’m just calling to leave a message to see if you got my email message about my phone message” craziness. (A public service announcement: don’t be that person.)

This is less a resolution than a lifestyle shift. As we enter the busiest time of the year, you could also think of it as a sanity strategy for yourself. Many of us will spend this month managing our demanding lives by multitasking. As a result we’ll spend most of this season distracted, trying to do more but actually experiencing less.

This December I’m going to enjoy the present of being present for my life. Want to join me?