We have had “grandparents” whose grandchildren are not nearby “adopt” families in this kind of way. It is a blessing, too.

Blessings,

I, therefore, say a heartfelt “amen” to Scott’s comments about grace and mercy toward parents in times when they are stuck between a rock and a hard place. A little bit of kindness goes a very long way…

So I would also like to offer another line of promises for those of you who do not currently have young children in your home:

Identify a family you know who does not have their immediately family (parents or siblings) living nearby who spend time with the children. Make the following commitment to them for one year:

1.) Once every three months, I promise to take your children for a Saturday day out. (…the parents might not get to go somewhere fun, but they might get to catch up on chores that just can’t be done with children underfoot. I adore the chance to do chores with my husband.)

2.) Once every three months, I promise to have your children for a Friday night sleep-over. (…so that their parents, who have them basically 24/7/365 might have a quiet evening at home (normally an oxymoron…) and a chance for uninterrupted sleep–or even a chance to sleep in!!!)

3.) Once every three months, I promise to spend the evening with your children at your home so that you two might be able to have dinner and a movie without it costing $100.

4.) I promise that I will resist every attempt of the parents to reimburse me for any expense I may incur while spending time with these precious children.

These 12 simple events will make an incredible difference to this family and be a blessed investment in your spiritual family.

One last promise–from those of you who have grown children: I promise never to say to a struggling young mother/father starved for involvement and adult interaction, “I remember when our kids were young. It was terrible. You’ll survive…I did.” Break the cycle of this kind of thoughtlessness with a random act of kindness!

Be blessed!

1. Not to ignore the designated “child friendly exit rows” in the back where parents who are keeping their kids with them during the service can make fast, discreet exits if Junior decides to be disruptive.
2. Not to bring Junior to the Easter Sunday service and then act surprised when he does not pick the holiest day of the year as his first time to sit still, silent and enraptured in his seat.
3. Not to take up 5 seats for 2 adults and one child so that Junior has plenty of room to run around and make noise – especially during a packed service when the church leaders are begging people to move toward the middle and not take up extra seats. Also, not to give the usher a dirty look when he asks to be able to seat people in the unoccupied seats.
4. Not to add to the noise of Junior’s screams, squeals, wiggling, talking, etc. by trying to distract him with treats which are wrapped in an impenetrable crinkly foil wrapping.
5. Not to distract Junior with items that he promptly attempts to hurl over the balcony railing into the crowd below. Not to loudly scold Junior as if astonished that a two year old doesn’t know better.
6. Not to pass Junior back and forth while he does the classic toddler “arching of the back anti-hold deflection move.”
7. Not to finally give up and let Junior wander up the aisle in search of other people to torture.
8. Not to give others the sheepish “isn’t our kid so cute!!!” look when Junior takes their things, disrupts their worship, or starts crawling down their row.
9. Not to let our cell phone ring not only once, but TWICE during the service. (Nothing to do with kids, but it was the icing on the cake.)

Yes, all of this happened during our Easter Sunday. The worst part? We had guests with us who, after many declined invitations, finally decided to visit our church. We wanted their first visit to be a positive experience, but because of the distraction in front of us, they were unable to experience much of the service at all. I hope that maybe they will be open to coming back to church with us sometime in the future. If so, we will look for seats far, far away from any small children.

BUT… be careful what you promise. It’s not a very kid-friendly world out there and child-rearing can often be a case of easier said than done. I’m not trying to say, “Oh, you just wait, honey… You’ll see what it’s like when you grow up and have your own kids.” I absolutely am in agreement that much of what you’re saying can be somewhat prevented. But, there are sometimes real explanations, some of which border on being beyond one’s control… the service/event without childcare provided (far too common), the scary nursery that you wouldn’t dare leave your kid in (again, far too common), naps aren’t always feasible, the kid’s sick, out of his/her routine, the kid’s actually someone else’s and you can’t control him/her, it was the only week of vacation the family could take (even though the kid’s sick), the stroller is one-tenth of the things you’re carrying/responsible for while you’re sweating, tired, ankles hurting, and are every bit as miserable as the screaming kid. Most of these I have experienced.

Having children is BY FAR the most difficult thing most of us will ever do. And, despite the fact that they’re exhausted simply at the thought of going out to dinner or Disney or the wedding or the service with the kids because you know you’ll spend all your time keeping up with them, parents need a life outside of their kids and most have precious little time to do anything else. And, seriously, what family can afford a babysitter every time you want/need to go to a less-than-kid-friendly event (which is most of them)?

All I’m really saying is… Extend a little grace to these parents. They’re probably way more frazzled than you realize.