Comments on: support groups?

By: group thinking « Write About Now

group thinking « Write About Now — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 22:39:16 +0000

[...] written about this issue before; when I joined a group in California a few years ago it struck me I already had a small group of [...]

By: bright idea, or big mistake? « Write About Now

bright idea, or big mistake? « Write About Now — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 19:47:08 +0000

[...] the conversation included a discussion of small groups. I’ve shared my views on this before; while these groups might (might) be pleasant, they seem artificially intimate and spiritually [...]

By: Paul

Paul — Mon, 19 Jun 2006 04:11:00 +0000

One of the problems we run into when talking about small groups is defining exactly what a small group is. Just like when we fail to define what "missions" are then anything can become a "mission" in need of support without a definition any small group of people could be a small group.

I think one reason people feel frustrated or uncomfortable in a small group is that they go expecting one thing and it turns out to be something different. So the purpose has to be clearly stated.

Small groups can benefit a Church Family, but I don't think programed small groups is the best way to build community. It is what we would like to happen, but I think too often the relationships feel forced and not very natural.

How do we build community? That is a good question. You can't leave it to chance because then it won't happen. I think it starts be giving people a chance to interact in environments they don't feel pressured to share the intimate detials of their lives: Service projects, missions trips, sports teams, scrapbooking sessions. Give people a chance to find common ground and create friendships.

The one good small group I was a part of came out of the friendships I already had with three other youth ministers. It wasn't forced but something which came to us naturally. We were willing to share our struggles and problems because we already had a trust built with one another.

By: fiona

fiona — Thu, 15 Jun 2006 21:10:00 +0000

Feel free to edit for improvement:

4-6 months ago Christian Standard published an article by Mandy (Mandie?) Smith. I believe it was called “The ‘In’ Crowd” or something clever like that. It was about introverts.

It’s the best article I’ve ever read about introverts (maybe that says something about how well read I am ). Of course introverts have a thorough distaste for forced or unforced confessions among forced (or strongly encouraged) small group formations, whether in the local church or elsewhere. “Let’s all be vulnerable.”

Introverts also have tremendous difficulty dealing with strangers who unload on them in very intimate settings. What do I say? Of course the thoughts that race through the mind are unspeakable: Uh, it’s not really that bad is it? Could, you please control yourself? Would anybody mind if I leave?

Sometimes we lack compassion. But not necessarily. Usually we lack the ability to express it. We lack the “neither do I condemn you” type arrows in our quiver. And we’re just plain uncomfortable with the whole situation.

For some, small groups are heaven on earth. They are needed for that reason alone. And they are also needed sometimes to stretch us introverts.

You don’t have to be an introvert though to struggle with small groups. Small groups are full of people.